Let's cross over? Or Attraversiamo

Back in the mid-2000s, you may well have read Elizabeth Gilberts ‘Eat, Pray, Love - or one woman’s search for everything.’ If you did then you will recall her love of the Italian word, attraversiamo.

She says that she likes how it sounds, “the perfect combination of Italian sounds, the wistful ah of the introduction, the rolling trill, the soothing s, that lingering ee-ah-moh combo at the end. I love this word.”

Then, at the end of the book, as she is about to jump off the boat into the water, she says to her lover, “Attraversiamo. Let’s crossover.”

At this time in her life she has fallen head over heels in love. Life for her at this moment is beautiful and full of joy, magical, and one big adventure. We have all been there; that wonderful time when life was exciting and far less complicated. The crossing over was perhaps into commitment, or into the unknown of starting a family, or getting on with a brilliant career….

And so we became immersed into the metaphorical ‘sea of life’ and navigated our way through in many different ways.

Fast forward, like they do in the movies, and here we are. Each one of us trying our best to navigate our way through the ‘mid-life transition’, often feeling we are doing this alone.

At other times in life there may have been more support, or more open conversations and a shared purpose and drive. At mid-life though, things can feel lonely and our lives can become overwhelming.

Some of us are in the water swimming a pretty impressive front crawl. Some of us are simply treading water. Some may feel like they are drowning and want to get back on the boat, or even better, back to the safety of the shore.

Some of us are on the edge of the boat looking into the water and just feeling too anxious to jump in. Some of us are in other boats, and of course there is always going to be a couple of far more confident looking women who are, let’s say, on paddle boards, loving the freedom of being in control and they seem to be gaining real momentum.

So, my question today is, ‘exactly where do I find you?’

If you’re on the paddle board and you’re heading in the right direction and at the right speed, you perhaps don’t need me right now.

Maybe I find you feeling totally lost in the mid-life transition, with no motivation for what comes next?

Maybe you want to start the next chapter, but fear is holding you back?

Perhaps you feel invisible, or that your sparkle and shimmer has fizzled out?

Are you often, and for no apparent reason, feeling tearful? And at times quite forgetful… yet again you walk into the bedroom, or run up the stairs, only to realise you no longer have the first idea of what you came for… And if you’re honest, sometimes you just feel a bit too anxious to even think straight or know what to do next?

You are perhaps no longer sure what actually ‘suits you’ and to make matters worse it appear that someone has shrunk some of your most favourite ‘go to’ clothes in the tumble dryer! While you are stood looking in a particularly ‘good light’, you think again, ‘should I just embrace the ever-increasing number of grey hairs, or keep on with the hair dye?’

Do you constantly feel guilty if you say ‘no’ and yet you long to carve out some time for yourself?

Have you been totally hijacked by your hormones? Here, I think it’s a bit like puberty but instead of your boobs looking perky and firm, they’re in need of some extra support. Talking of support, and totally unlike puberty when it was ALL about you, you may have teenagers or young adults to support, and parents that need you too.

You may be dealing with loss or grief or live in a home that feels empty.  You may be missing some of those people, not to mention your alleged work-life balance and your career – no balance there!

You’re often pulled in so many different directions at once, that any notion of ‘self-care’ is a distant dream or faint memory.

You may have the same partner. You may have outgrown one? You may want a new one! You may want the one you have but want them to change a bit? Or simply to listen more…. or just HEAR what you’re actually saying and understand you, and not always attempt to ‘fix’ things?

When my passion for all things relating to health and wellness was first ignited, I was in my early thirties and a friend gifted me the book ‘Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom’ by Christiane Northrup. It was a revelation and as I read this book, I slowly started to understand more about how our emotional and physical health is totally interlinked.

As I was scanning through the pages I had marked when first reading the book, I realised they still hold many of the same strong messages and meanings for me today.

This one is so relevant at the stage of mid-life.

“The woman in menopause, who is becoming the queen of herself, finds herself at the cross roads of life, torn between the old way she has known and the new way she has just begun to dream of.

 A voice from the old way (in many cases it is her husband’s voice) begs her to stay in place, ‘grow old with me, the best is yet to be’- but from the new path, a new voice beckons, imploring her to explore other aspects of herself that have been dormant during her years of caring for others and focusing on their needs.

 Caring for others and pursing unexplored passions are not necessarily mutual exclusive choices, but our culture makes them seem so, always supporting the former at the expense of the latter.

 This is part of what makes midlife transformation so much of a challenge”.

 So here is where I would like some audience participation.  I invite you to join me on my mission: to hold your hand, or throw my arm over your shoulders, and walk together for a while and navigate our way through this time.

If you’ve read my first blog, you’ll know my ‘why’ and what drives to me forward in my work.

My new courses are about accepting this mid-life ‘challenge’ and rising up to meet it head on. 

One is called ‘Mastering the mid-life transition’ and it’s written with you in mind. I also have my ‘Self-care and the Menopause’ course all ready to go.

These courses will provide you with tips, hints and tricks to help get you through this stage of life and emerge the other side with your sanity intact and a smile on your face.  Over the years, I’ve been adding to my little bag of ‘tools’ and I’m ready to share these with you now.

Working on theses courses with me, you’ll gather everything you need to help you navigate your way. Together, we’ll discover, or simply be reminded, that we can do things a little bit differently and therefore change the outcome.

Join a small and intimate community of like-minded women, who totally get how you’re feeling. Support each other and share your emotions in a safe and secure environment, with me by your side to nurture and empower you along the way.  Know that trust is everything to me. You’ll experience transition and a much more positive transformation.    

Sounds good, right? Are you in?

Let us start by getting to know each other a little better first and you can book a free call HERE and we can chat everything through

Let’s begin.  Let’s ‘cross over’ together.