Pause... for a moment of reflection

If you too owned a pair of roller skates then here we are already… we now find ourselves at this pivotal time which is mid-life.

For many of us, myself included this is also a time for some reflection and maybe even a little soul searching and I come to a similar conclusion as Diane Mairechild when she says, “A woman is the full circle within her is the power to create, nurture and transform”

Now I absolutely love the words ‘transform’ or ‘transformation’ as these words make me hopeful, and when I hear them I feel that anything really is possible.

I am just re reading one Diane’s’ books called ‘Inner dance’ which is such a powerful book and I do agree with one of the reviews that says,

“When you open to the Inner Dance, it will transform your life. You will learn to strengthen and trust the intuition, as you still the mind and listen to the inner voice”

However do you actually take the time to listen? If so then what is your inner voice telling you right now?

Our inner voice and our intuition is to be celebrated and embraced, at midlife it is such an important time to really listen and I feel that more than ever you want to be ‘heard’.

When I first saw this in action it inspired me so much, as I was lucky enough to work with Dr Peatfield in his clinic. As I observed this man, then in his late 70’s I saw him really listen attentively to his clients. He let them fully tell their story, he asked questions and he allowed plenty of time, they were never rushed or pressured.

Often it was traumatic to hear and there were tears and so many emotions were laid bare. He simply listened and did his very best to understand, he showed them compassion and care, and then afterwards provided ideas and possible solutions. He held that space and time for them, which was the very start of them beginning to heal.

So, are you actually listening? What is that you are you telling yourself on a daily basis? Is this positive or negative?

If it is a very negative voice that you hear more often than you would like, then I really think this is a great time to consider what is still serving you, verses what you no longer wish to carry around?

What would be the most liberating, or what could be at the very start of some healing or what can you let go of or reframe?

Diane also says, “Trust that still, small voice that says, this might work and I'll try it”

And I much prefer these words to some of the other things I can tell myself in tough times.

When I lived in Sydney and I was working with my friend setting up our first business, the words ‘just give it a go’ were words that the Australians often said to us. They would say this with big smiles on their faces and genuine enthusiasm, you got the sense that they really wanted you not only to succeed…. they wanted you thrive.

I really do love this positive attitude and for me it nurtures hope and optimism.

So, my gentle challenge to you is that if you feel this is the right time…or you simply fancy ‘taking stock’ then take some time out now for true reflection.

 “At its simplest, reflection is about careful thought. The most useful reflection involves the conscious consideration and analysis of beliefs and actions for the purpose of learning. Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mind-sets and actions”

Jennifer Porter Executive and team coach at the Boda Group

One of the many reasons this resonates right now is that not only are we at the midpoint of life, we have also been for many months engaged and somewhat ‘entangled’ too in a ‘battle’ of sorts.

A battle that is both emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting and YES, OH SO challenging…and as things go, this is still ongoing.

We have experience a constant shifting and changing, a moving of the goal posts and that is always tough to navigate.

Now each of us have had a very different experience and perspective, and for many of us we have been looking at the same four walls.

So for a moment take a look at this picture and put yourself right here…engage your senses. If I close my eyes and day dream for a minute, then I can imagine being here in this pool…feel that warm sun, hear the birds in the trees, the smell of the ocean and the scent of the floral notes of a tropical evening.. all with this fabulous view. It makes me feel so calm and hopeful, all of these colours, the view, the peaceful landscape. I love to see the horizon and the expanse… and the feeling I get in one word is ‘possibility’.

So do you feel that the time is right to acknowledge exactly where you are now? To decide on a path and then to slowly move forward?

It may be that it is the perfect time to reach out, to be re connecting, also making some new connections and creating a totally different way forward.

This is the time to really support one another, also to be very tolerant and patient, to suspend judgment and also to be kind to yourself and everyone you encounter.

Asking yourself, ‘what support do I really need now’ and ‘what could make the biggest difference to my life going forward?’

Much is also being said about ‘recovery and reset’ and honestly, I am not a fan of either of these terms anymore - especially when it comes to our health and wellness. These words make me think about a computer or electronic device and I don’t know about you, I have had way too much time with both of these over this last year.

Instead I prefer to think that this is time for us to begin the process of reflecting and then rebalancing. Most of all I think mid-life is an opportunity to start to really connect with what is important to us and be clear about our very own why, as so many things have and will continue to change.

Here is an exercise you could try, I invite you to have a look at this example of a wellness wheel, consider what you can write against each circle?

If everything was working, running well and ‘spinning around’ without restrictions and limitations, how would YOU in the centre then feel?

How would you look? What would you be doing? Where would you be?

So what we need to work on next is how to really get you there – and here is where I can help you.

So let’s start, ask yourself ‘where exactly is the imbalance in my life?’

‘What do I want to do more of?’ ‘Give my time to?’ ‘How have I been spending my time?’

What is in each of these circles for you right now, and are these a true reflection of who you really are?

Where do you really want to be and where would you like to go next?

So ask yourself, ‘what would I like to have happen?’ Also ‘what would I like to shift and move around?’

How ‘healthy’ are your boundaries for example? Your routines? Your habits? What are you telling yourself and others?

How do you want to face this next chapter in your own story, and how do you want to ‘appear’ and show up? How are you going to set about with the process of all of this re balancing? What stays and what no longer serves you?

Honestly, it can be done and not only do I have the road map, the compass - most of all I have the drive, the energy, the enthusiasm, passion and experience that is required in order to support you, as you navigate your way.

I am ready to talk to you, as I want to help you to make some transformations of your own. I am here and I am ready to listen, to support you as you get that intuition and inner voice of yours fired up!

So, if you have read this to the end and you hear the voice inside you call DO IT NOW book a call and let’s give this our very best shot!